the Cribs - you were always the one
LET’S ALL RELIVE OUR YOUTH, AND ALSO DANCE. BE HERE IN 1HR.
the Clash - Julie’s been working for the drug squad
listening to Give ‘em Enough Rope this morning is like hanging out with past love. totally passionate. the kind that had burnt out only because it was so intense. no bitterness, no melancholy. the kind that you’re still totally in love with, but at a safe distance.
fuck (but not actually).
in year twelve, boarders were each assigned a boarding-house-related captaincy—like ‘captain chapel’, ‘captain computer room’ and ‘captain bus roster’—which prescribed specific, regular duties. most of these duties were either inconveniently frequent, involved cleaning, or required us to supervise younger students. in a display of uncommon wit and discretion, the Powers That Be did not offer me such a position; instead, I was selected as the illustrious ‘captain coke machine’.
my sole charge was a moody old robot but, through its agency, I was able to supply sweet, fizzy happiness to my boarding house colleagues. and we made a great team. my favourite part was when I thought to install a ‘mystery can’ option. I stocked this with a variety of different drinks, to add the thrill of the unknown to the lives of my fellow boarders. my other favourite part was stocking this section entirely with vanilla coke. which was a surprisingly successful strategy to sell off a seriously ambitious order that predated my captaincy and was approaching expiry.
I’m almost certain that this Random Internet Photo is actually my machine. total nostalgia.
sometimes I forget that I lived at a boarding school. I did. for two years. I went to an all-girls school that is only possibly the most prestigious in the country, but certainly the closest to parliament. and it was exactly as oppressive and dark and gothic as you’d like to imagine, and with as many semi-naked late-night pillow fights.
the experience provided me with little that was particularly lasting or didactic. (which is largely due to my willful aversion to it.) but it did begin my succession of Totally Rubbish Birthdays, which is topical. and I recollect three events that were probably character building.